


At What Price Haberdashery?

by Noir_Dix



Series: The Cardinal's Sins [1]
Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: (same dude), Back Door, Cardi before Cardi is Cardi, F/M, Multi, Noir_Dix au, Similarities, Two dudes, differences, front door, standing double penetration, vamp mind tricks, wardrobe crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-07 12:55:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20976239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noir_Dix/pseuds/Noir_Dix
Summary: This is wrong.Don't comment, & tell me it's wrong.I already know.If you want to tell me your panties went boom, okey-dokey.Otherwise, spare me any righteous indignation.





	1. Chapter 1

It was dark. It was cloudy, & the moon was not full. Mary trudged ahead; the padre & his pale companion followed.

They were between settlements, looking for an outpost that had several functions.

It was a homestead that sold merchandise, with textiles & ready-made clothing available.

Dix had insisted that the men get some new clothes, as soon as they made port.

Her priest's black cassock was impressive & immaculate, but, he wore threadbare rags underneath. She lived in fear of tearing his clothes.

Mary had finally confessed to her that they hadn't had a scrap of new clothing in decades... Although, he had pilfered a black & white striped shirt from the Black Pearl.

She had made it her mission to remedy the situation.

"...Put him in the bed with the captain's daughter  
Early in te morning!  
Way hay & up she rises  
Way hay & up she rises  
Way hay & up she rises  
Early in te morning!  
That's what we do with a drunken sailor..."

They kept putting her off.

Basil had been a rum-soaked mess, as of late... (Or, that's what he wanted them to believe. Dix knew that it took an awful lot, to get him drunk.)

Thus, they were wandering through the woods, in the middle of the night.

"Ah! There's a light-" her odd companion said... He kind of sang it.

They sent Mary to knock on the door, as he was possibly the most "normal-looking" of all of them... despite his chopped-up, raven hair.

Dix was wearing a young man's outfit, & Basil... Basil looked like a diseased papist, as usual.

_Plague-Bringer._

(He also had a distinct smokey, herbal aroma, that had settled deep in his vestments.)

"Oh, no, sir... It's long past dark. Come back tomorrow-" the poor man that had answered the door was saying.

Basil walked briskly past her, sticking a hand in the door to grab the man's shoulder, before fixing him with his eerie stare.

"We can't come back tomorrow." he said, menace tainting his tone.

The fellow was terrified; Dix felt a little sorry for him. She knew that Basil was unabashedly rifling through his mind.

"You'll see us tonight."

"I'll see you tonight." the man agreed, weakly.

"Niiice." Mary said.

They walked in, & found themselves in a very small mercantile space.

"What do you have in clothes, my good man?" Mary asked, conversationally.

The man jerked, as if poked.

"Oh-" he looked to her favorite reaper, fearfully. "Not much, I'm afraid. We're between shipments-"

He went to a wardrobe, & pulled it open.

There actually _was_ a little bit. They were just... strange fabrics, in even stranger colors.

There was a beautiful scarlet suit, for instance.

Basil's eyes widened appreciatively.

"This is beautiful." he rubbed the fabric experimentally, "What is that? Velvet?"

Dix rolled her eyes; for some reason, the question seemed absurd.

"Yes- Yes, sir. It's been rather warm, you see..."

"It's been godforsaken HOT down here." Mary muttered.

Dix glared at him.

"Y'all could've gone to a tailor in town, but, _nooo_-"

"It was hot there, too."

"We will make do." Basil said, in his courtly old way. He began to unbutton the top of his cassock. "Can you- alter things?"

The man blanched.

"You see, I am rather-" he coughed, "_small_."

_Not where it counts._ she thought, before she could stop herself. He smiled at her, conspiratorially.

"Yes, sir." the man said, wishing for any other answer.

He led them to a side room, a kind of parlor.

Dix gratefully found a chair, & stretched her long legs out, to cross at the ankles.

One of her life's great ironies: so short, with long legs.

Basil eyed her appreciatively. He had gathered up the pieces of the red suit, & found a little black one, as well.

"You're just going to absorb heat, in that." she informed him, finding a silk fan over on a side table.

His tongue darted out, sucking on a fang.

"It is what it is. At least we don't have to worry about the sun."

"I suppose." she said, fanning herself.

Mary had a gray suit.

The man that owned the place had produced a chest, filled with the tools to make the alterations. He gave Basil an ugly look, as he finished removing the cassock.

"Dislike papists?" Dix asked.

The man turned the ugly look on her, & her scandalous britches.

Basil chuckled, down to his waistcoat.

"Fear not, mortal. Give me a good hem, & we'll trouble you no more."

He & Mary were both down to their breeches. She focused, for a moment, on the brand marring a side of his chest.

To a casual observer, it might just seem an intricate, looping design.

It was three clusters of three sixes, all bound together.

Try as she might, she could not get the thing to heal.

_Don't worry about it._  
_That was hundreds of years ago._  
_It never finished healing properly, to begin with._

It _bothered_ her, though. She'd have to try something else...

She looked between the two men. Same marble-white skin, (you could see nearly every vein). Same slight chest. Same little brown nipples.

She began fanning faster.

"Are you _sure_ you're not brothers?"

Basil smirked. Mary frowned.

They _were_ distantly related... As with anything regarding Basil, however, you had to factor in _centuries_.

They did have the same set to their eyes. Then, there were the bodily similarities.

Mary had an awful rope-burn from hanging, though.

Finally, there were the more _intimate_ details.

Mary, as with everything in _his_ life, was just slightly bent.

Basil was a shade... larger. All around. And it blushed prettily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Forge fashion, (stripes!)
> 
> * Rocky Horror  
🎶 Over at the Frankenstein place...
> 
> * Coming To America


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This.  
This is where it all goes wrong.
> 
> I'm not sorry.
> 
> (I think I was possessed.)

"Come here, pet."

The man about to work on their clothes was disgusted.

Basil got into his head again.

"Leave us, for now."

"Yes, sir." he muttered, shuffling off.

He touched the side of her face, gently.

She leaned into it.

"You should find something, for yourself."

She looked down at her clothes, stolen from a recent victim.

"I _did_ notice a little blue suit, back there."

"Mmm." he pulled her back against him. "I'll have to find you another dress, one of these days."

She was now facing Mary. He looked past her, for a moment.

He pushed her jacket from her shoulders, Basil finished pulling it off. The same went for the waistcoat. He went to work on the fastenings to her pants, stopped, & removed her boots, to finish pulling them off.

She felt movement behind her, then moaned when he slid his cock between her legs.

Mary started nicely enough, pressing a soft kiss to her chest, before going to suck a nipple. He went to the other, then trailed kisses down to her navel. He was down on his knees, & paused, unsure of Basil's cock-head peeping out at him.

Moments ticked by, & he finally pressed another kiss to the silken patch between her legs. He pulled at her nether lips to expose her clit.

"Do be careful." Basil grunted.

_But, just how careful could he possibly be?_

Soon enough, Mary's tongue was there. Basil's cock was there. Dix was so profoundly turned on by the entire situation, that she was about to die.

For real, this time.

"Not yet." Basil growled in her ear. He pulled back, & went up her backside.

Mary hoisted a leg over his shoulder. She tangled a hand in his absurd devil's forelock.

They were both _so_ good... combined, they were downright dangerous.

"Ohhh, God-" she moaned, "_Please_."

"Please what, kitten?" Basil teased her.

"Put me out of this misery."

"Misery? What do you want?"

She drew a shuddering breath.

"What do you _need_?" he rasped; little moustache tickling her. His hands were _everywhere_.

"Fuck me." she begged, in a small voice.

He tsked her.

"Such heathen language. I'm not even sure what you mean-"

"Stop tormenting her." Mary said, still down on the floor.

"_I didn't ask you_." Basil informed him. "Get up."

He did. Dix wobbled a bit, before being held steady.

"Get back against the wall."

Mary found a spot. Basil walked her over, & turned her to face him, again. He looked over her shoulder.

"Is it wet?"

Mary didn't respond. He must've looked down...

Basil pressed her backward, & she ended up against a soft little body.

"Ohhh-" Mary breathed, doing _something_, before positioning himself in her ass.

"Son, if you had a brain, you'd be dangerous." Basil muttered, guiding himself to enter her.

"Both of you?!" she asked, alarmed.

"Sììì..." he grunted, grasping her hips. "If it hurts, you stop me."

_Of course it hurt._  
_But, the pain was exquisite..._  
_It was a conundrum._

"She doesn't know whether she's coming or going." Mary rumbled behind her.

"_Are you complaining_?" Basil hissed. With each thrust into her, he pushed her further against Mary.

"Nooo- Oh, FUCK. No." he groaned.

"Well, hopefully... she'll be coming, soon enough."

He hoisted her legs up, to wrap around him.

"Tight- So goddamned tight. I'm gonna cuuum-" Mary panted.

"_You will not._" Basil snarled, fangs out.

"I can't help it." he clutched her, desperately.

She cried out, as he pulsed & pumped her full of cum.

Basil sighed. She felt him gently trying to untangle her sensory overload.

She really _didn't_ know if she was coming or going.

"Poor baby-" he dragged his fangs down her neck, "May I bite you?"

He was going to bewitch her.

"Mmm-hmm."

_Now, be a good girl & come for me._

Mary had recovered, slightly.

"Jag älskar dig. Jag älskar dig, Jag älskar dig..." he chanted, holding her tightly.

Basil glared. He was testing his patience.

_You belong to me._

_Yes._ she agreed.

He sank his teeth, then sucked at her small wounds.

"Bastard." Mary muttered.

He pulled back, to watch her come undone.

"Very good." he murmured. "Praise be."

"To whom?" she asked, breathlessly.

He considered.

"Ave, Dix." he finally decided.

They all ended up on a little settee, with Basil holding Dix in his lap, rather possessively.

"Basil, what was that?"

"Indeed." Mary added.

He blinked.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Well, we're limited on time for alterations, now."

"I know." he dropped his gaze, sheepishly.

She smoothed down his hair, starting at his temples... which had gone a bit more gray, over the course of the evening. She tilted his head up, to look into his mismatched eyes.

She kissed him, starting off chaste, & ending up not so much.

"Let's get some clothes together, & get out of this place."

FIN _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-daaa!  
There you go.  
Let me know what y'all think.  
😽


End file.
